existentialism

Sorry about the prior post which, apparently, existed only in draft form until I discovered it earlier today.

My health continues to be good. There are a few minor things to comment on:

1. For several months after my last (fall) ablation I always got a sinus rhythm finding from my iWatch. More recently I have observed fewer sinus outcomes and more Inconclusives. These have not been of great concern since one of the rhythm docs said the watch is reading my PVCs and that generates the Inconclusive outcome. In fact, all of my readings to date have included the nice spike of the sinus wave in good synchrony. However, it is interesting that for a number of months I was not getting any extra beats. So that has changed. At this point I am unaware of what this may mean to my heart's healing after the ablation process. I do know that the prior ablation was not permanent and such changes may indicate that my heart is again undergoing changes.

2. Lately I have recorded a couple A-fib outcomes on the iWatch. These seem asymptomatic. That is, they are unaccompanied by anything that I can feel. They have been first readings of the day--usually when I arise. When I get going a few hours and take a second ECG the a-fib outcome is gone. These have not been accompanied by elevated heart rates, nor by the anxiety of feeling that the heart is up to something beyond one's control. As an aside: I have largely been unable to elevate my heart rate during exercise. (Nor have I directly tried to.) But a couple times this winter I got a high HR while looking at the Workout page on my watch which monitors HR during exercise. These have been momentary. My docs say that the amiodarone that I take limits HR. But there have been these couple breakthroughs. I'll keep a watch on this.

But all of this pales in the face of the elephant in the room: the corona virus (COVID-19). Turns out that this thing is most deadly in people over 80 (tick that box), and in people with preexisting conditions (tick that box, too). (Is that 2 strikes?) Tick a third box when one's immune system has been compromised by chemotherapy.  (Tick tock; tick tock). Time is up!

The Wujuan data show an overall mortality of some 2%--approximately.  For those whose average age was 82 yrs it was almost 22%. So what to do? Best estimates at this point are that the virus will run its course in 18-24 months, almost as much time as it will take to develop a vaccine.

I am not panicking. But with my decreased lung function, several bouts of pneumonia, and the other correlates, I am a prime candidate. What to do? During the chemo process with its attendant immune system blasting, I self-isolated. Instead of eating out with friends for lunch I invited them over. We stopped going to large gatherings. We stopped travel. Life was still pretty good. We are contemplating heading back north a week or so early to settle in at home and contemplate next steps. 

Personal probability estimates are so tough: It just seems intuitive that driving is safer than flying because accidents during flight seem so final. Of course, driving turns out to be a lot more dangerous. So, if you are with 8000 other people at a spring training game--outdoors--is the chance of infection greater than being in an auditorium indoors with 300 prople listening to jazz? Who the hell knows? Pondering this in any greater detail will make us all crazy.