losing it?

I think I am beginning to lose it. My immediate memory (aka working memory) is going in the tank.You may recall that my regular doc suggested that I might expect this as a delayed consequence of chemo. (Not delayed enough, I suspect.) Lately, I have been searching (memory) for names and been unable to find them. This is a well known outcome of aging, I know; but mine seems to me a little precipitous. So much so that I am able to notice it happening--unlike the frog in warm water that gets hotter and hotter.

Here are some other manifestations. Those of you who are of a certain age--you know who you are!--may relate. I will be listening to a friend's story and, half way through, will think of something to add to it, or of a tangent that follows from it. Now, by the time he has finished with his story, what I wanted to say is lost to me. Sometimes it may come to me in a few seconds later, other times not. 

Related seems to be the case where I start to tell a story, and I go to a tangent that is appropriate to the story and by the time I finish with the tangent, I have forgotten what the main story is. Didn't used to happen. Sometimes I simply say, what was I talking about? This is good feedback particularly if they say, we haven't a clue. Again, the point may eventually come back to me a few minutes later, or not at all.

I believe that one of the tests for senility (ie, among other things the loss of working memory) goes something like the following: The neurologist recites a string of 5-7 numbers. (Without tricks, these many numbers are about what the average person can recall.) You repeat them and are asked to remember them. He then asks you to do a(n) (interfering) task, that requires some computation. Then a few minutes later you are asked to recite the number string. Normal people can do this, easy, peasy. I am afraid to have this test done.

To repeat: I would like to think that this is normal aging--for our society--but it may not be. (I say for our society because the death of brain cells may be hastened by our lifestyle.)  Martini anyone?

status quo all over again

A strange sequence of events. Well the stomach flu (if that is what it was) receded a few days ago and then came back. After a couple more days, it receded again. I doubt it will return, but who knows? This parallels some experiences I used to have with sore throats when I was much younger. I would have one for a few weeks and then it would recede--sometimes as long as a month--only to make a re-appearance. Usually, the second bout was more brief than the first.

Healthy living? I have had a dynamite week which has included 3 workouts. I can already feel a conditioning effect in muscle tone and new muscle. Most of the time it takes about 6 weeks to see a conditioning effect and I think-with fits and starts--it probably has been about that long. But a great week also contains eating out with friends.

Water retention. I have begun to be aware of the increase in water retention when I increase my sodium intake. I was getting 8-9 days between torsemide pills (Lasix). But when I ate out several times this week, while I attempted to be careful, I often cannot tell where my sodium intake for a restaurant meal is. I had to take a torsemide this morning after only 6 days. More data clearly needed. I also suspect that this may be a lifetime condition. Merde!

O2 and me. You may recall in an earlier post that my sleep doc suggested to me a trial of going without supplemental O2 overnight. O2 in the blood is measured in percentages and is called oxygen saturation. It is what is measured when the doc puts the little clamp thing (actually an oximeter) on your finger when reading your vital signs. (For those really into it a good oximeter can be bought at WalMart for about $40). The reading is in percentages. Normal is above 90%. Anything below 90% on a continuing basis is not good for one, since lower percentages involve the death of one's brain cells. I take one O2 saturation measure every morning upon arising and do a blood pressure measure, too. The heart failure team wants these data.

In my awake state (most days!), I am well above 90%. No problemo. But during sleep my respiration rate falls so much that I am below 90% without O2.  The sleep doc is wondering whether my strengthened heart may not need supplemental O2 to keep my oxygen saturation within normal limits. Well, a couple of natural experiments have occurred that appear illuminating. The first was when I forgot to plug in my new portable O2 concentrator and it ran on its lithium battery until said battery pooped out at 3 a.m. one morning. When I arose a little later the first readings I got from the oximeter were well down in the 80s. Not good. The second was more subtle--no obvious human error involved. The O2 delivery tubing crimped where it joined the device and so, while the concentrator was running and producing O2, said O2 was not reaching yours truly. Another very low reading ensued upon arising. Well down in the 80s.  I think the question about whether I need supplemental O2 at night has been asked and answered. At least for awhile. (To his credit, the sleep doc suggested I try without O2 intentionally later in the year, presumably to measure this with a more strengthened heart.)

Music.  While I can no longer play my trumpet(s)--I have north of a dozen!--I am compensating by attempting to learn to play arranger's piano. Essentially this is what jazz pianists play: chords in the left hand melody in the right. It is challenging, but a blast. I look forward to getting in at least an hour per day, often more (until my back objects). I may not have the 10,000 hours it takes to get good at this kind of skill, but I am damned sure going to use what I have left in this way. I am helped in this by a longtime friend who is very adept at jazz piano (as well as saxophone and flute and arranging music). I may never get good enough to play for anyone save me, my ownself. That is just fine.

All for now....

pride goeth...and all that

I knew I shouldn't have been so upbeat last post! A presumed intestinal virus has attacked me.  In fact, according to my journal, it attacked the next day after the last post. All of my friends have had some variety of this before I did. For most it resolved in days, maybe a week max. For some, vomiting accompanied the diarrhea in the first days; for me, no vomiting.

With my compromised immune system I am now entering the second week of it. A call to my regular physician's nurse informed me that as much as two weeks of it is not unusual. For the most part I can engage in daily activities but the condition lurks and is persisting. Moreover, the major symptom between attacks of diarrhea is gas-induced cramps. You might correctly guess that a lusty, corrective fart is not in the cards. And then when one races to the toilet and sits, the cramp has gone--only to reappear when one lies back flat in bed. (TMI dude!)

As you might guess, my workouts are in the toilet--pun intended, and I have cut out eating out with my buds for awhile. Hopefully, this will resolve by the next time I post. 

I am wondering whether this is a silent epidemic?